​And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
Matthew 26:39

Hello, my name is SueAnn.
I'm a runaway.
I'm trying a new thing.
I'm working on my commitment & consistency.
​I've been waking up every morning at 4 am to start my day with worship.
I call it wake and war.
I start with one hour of prayer and praise,
I take communion in remembrance of what the Lord has done for me,
I anoint myself to be set apart for God
and then I read the word for the next hour or so.
Today is day 5.
I came late.
I don't like being late, and I wasn't going to show up at all. I was going to go back to sleep.
But God!
God said, "Hey, it doesn't matter the hour of day. It doesn't matter that you're late. I'm still here. I'm waiting for you to show up so that I can show up. Welcome me in!"
And I'm like,
but God, you said 4 am wake and war.
Today, I've failed.
On top of that, my attitude has been poor,
and I speak foul language.
Why would you want me to come before you?
Then I heard HIS voice whisper to me,
"Don't let the enemy tell you lies."
So I began to pray,
Almighty Father, fill me today!
I feel so unworthy to come before you.
I feel like I've failed you yet again
But I know of your grace
And I know of your mercy
And I know of your unfailing love
And I know of your forgiveness
So I come to you anyway
Even though
Even though I'm late
Even though wicked thoughts cross my mind
Even though my heart holds pieces of bitterness
Even though unflattering words flow from my lips
Even though my soul has been tainted
Even though I am stressed over my mistakes
I know the more I come before you,
the more you fill me & good fruits will I bear
I'm not giving up
I will not let the enemy get the best of me
I will not let the enemy control this mind
I am yours, O God, and you are mine
Let us be one
Great Creator,
shape me to be who you made me to be
Perfect in your image
Free of sin
Holy and set apart
I can't afford to miss a day without you in it
So I will come before you each day
and welcome you in it
Even if I'm late
Now that I'm thinking about it, 4 am is the perfect time and just enough time for our alone time before I go to work, and I have off today!
So am I really late?
No matter the hour, HE will wait!
Even if you feel you're late.
Even if you feel your sin is too great.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE
It's never too late
Don't let the enemy tell you otherwise
The mind is a battlefield
Thank you, God, for providing the armor!
Thank you for giving me the strength
to not run away
Thank you for waiting for me to arrive in my time
I will wait patiently for yours to arrive
In Jesus' name

​History repeats itself! Always.
The Israelites began a series of cycles of sinning, worshiping idols, being punished, crying out for help, being rescued by a judge sent from God, obeying God for a while, then falling back into idolatry.
But every time His people called out to Him,
He rescued them.
We are living in times of wickedness, sin and idolatry. As a result, we are being punished with famine, disease, sickness and rumors of war.
We are being led by evil who are corrupting us and killing our children.
Unless we cry out to Him,
unless we turn from our sin and wicked ways,
the enemy will conquer us.
DON'T YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR PEOPLE?
CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO OUR CHILDREN?
I refuse to believe that we are too far gone,
too full of wickedness that we could be so blind to the devices of the enemy.
Just as God delivered the Israelites
EVERY TIME they turned from evil and cried out to HIM,
HE can and HE will deliver us!
Let go!
It took 10 plagues for pharaoh to let God's people go ...
And it was easier for God to get pharaoh to let his people go,
than it was for God to get his people to leave pharaoh.
Why do we make God fight for us to leave the ways of the world?
Leave what is normal
Let go of what is old
God gives us a new heart
It is up to us to accept it.
It is up to us to make new habits and break free from the old!
​Let go!
Amen

Turn it around! In Jesus name, open up the eyes of the blind, make the deaf to hear and the dumb to know. Soften the hearts of your people, O God. Let us live righteously that we could have the right to judge and lead your people out of captivity! Jesus I praise your mighty name! Guide us, teach us, show us, heal us, let us be like you. Help us to let go and let you! In Jesus name. Amen.