Life or Death

​“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
—1 Peter 5:8

There was this guy.
Cute, charming, kind.
He made her feel wanted, noticed, adored. He said all the right things.
Until he didn’t.
He studied her soul the way predators study prey.
He began to make her feel sad.
He made her feel used.
He made her feel bruised and abandoned.
He mocked her faith.
He laughed at her prayers.
And slowly, he began to pull her away from her relationship with Jesus.
She had once walked so closely with God. She was strong in her faith—praying, fasting, serving. So close and so strong, she could hear God’s voice. She was dreaming dreams and seeing visions. She worshiped in spirit and in truth.
And yet, in one weak moment, she took a bite of the fruit.
The forbidden fruit.
​
“But I fear that somehow your pure and undivided devotion to Christ will be corrupted, just as Eve was deceived by the cunning ways of the serpent.”
—2 Corinthians 11:3

He was her forbidden fruit.
She didn’t fall into the enemy’s trap—She jumped.
She ignored the warning signs.
She ignored the voice of God.
She ignored the dreams.
She ignored the covenant.
She ignored the vision.
She ignored the Spirit’s song.
God spoke to her in countless ways. In dreams, in scripture, in that small, still voice inside her soul. She saw the signs. She even heard the Spirit sing through her own lips: “Let me let the guy go.” But she clung to him like he was her lifeline, even as he was pulling her deeper into death.

“We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”
—Hebrews 2:1

She was drifting.
She silenced the voice of God that screamed inside her spirit.
 
And then came the curse.
He looked her dead in the eyes and whispered, “I put a spell on you. You’re far too deep now for the curse to be broken. Not even your God can save you.”
She saw the darkness in his eyes—black, soulless. The evil living inside of him was no longer hidden. It was now bold and threatening. And still, she didn’t run. She told herself she was too far in. That maybe this was what she deserved.

“As you enter the house of God, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. It is evil to make mindless offerings to God.”
—Ecclesiastes 5:1

And yet, despite all the warnings, she stayed.
She ignored the stranger sent to her with a word from the Lord.
She ignored the spiritual alarm bells ringing in her soul.
She ignored her own promises to God.
He hit her. He choked her. He broke her.
He followed her. Tracked her. Recorded her every move.
He threatened her life.
Still—she stayed.

Good vs bad.
Virtuous vs evil.
Truth vs deception.
Light vs darkness.
This was not just a love story that had gone wrong.
This was spiritual warfare.

She gave in to the temptations.
She allowed the enemy to lead her like a lamb to the slaughter.
She surrendered her joy.
She compromised her peace.
She handed over her authority.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
—John 10:10

You see,
There was this girl.
She was born into a world filled with hurt—surrounded by lies, anger, hate, and abandonment. She learned early how to smile through the pain, how to hide the cracks behind laughter. She mastered the art of pretending. Masking. Surviving.
But never healing.
She was taught to be tough, taught to endure, taught not to feel too deeply, because if you feel, you break. And if you break, you show weakness. And weakness, she believed, would get you destroyed.

“The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.”
—Proverbs 14:10

She never allowed herself the time to heal.
Never gave herself permission to grieve.
She numbed herself instead--
Numbed the memories.
Numbed the trauma.
Numbed the ache.

Until along came Jesus.
He didn’t come in quietly. No, He came in like a rushing wind—lifting, saving, restoring.
He didn’t wait for her to be whole.
He didn’t wait for her to be clean.
He didn’t wait for her to get it all right.
He came and saved her—right where she was.
Right in the middle of her mess.

He reached down into her soul and whispered truths she had never heard before.
“You are loved.”
“You are chosen.”
“You are mine.”

He saved her—from shame, from grief, from guilt, from the self-hate she carried like chains around her neck.
He saved her from the enemy within her own soul.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
—Psalm 34:18

But then…
There was this guy.
And while she was standing on the battlefield between Heaven and Hell,
The devil used that guy as bait.
And she? She didn’t stumble into the trap.
She jumped.
She didn’t fall—she leapt straight into his arms, mistaking manipulation for love.
God had already removed what was blocking her healing and growth.
But the enemy saw what God was doing.
He watched as the girl stepped into freedom.
He saw the glory waiting on the other side of her surrender.
And he couldn’t allow it.
So, he sent a counterfeit.
A replica of the very thing God had already removed--
Wrapped in charm.
Dressed in kindness.
Masked in affection.
But inside, the same poison.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
—Matthew 7:15

She knew.
God had warned her.
But she couldn’t let go.
Why?
Because she ached to be chosen.
She ached with loneliness.
With insecurity.
With a hunger to be seen … to be loved.
The devil knew this.
So he whispered: “Here’s what you’ve been missing.”
But it was a lie.
He placed a peach before her—juicy, plump, sweet to the eye.
But the moment she bit into it, the sweetness turned bitter.
Rotten.
Sour.
Deadly.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
—Proverbs 14:12

The “gift” the enemy gave her was a weapon in disguise.
A snare.
A soul tie.
A spiritual leash to pull her away from God’s calling.
The girl who once danced with Jesus now trembled before a man possessed by darkness.
And just like that, she began to lose it all.
All that she had fought so hard to get back--
Her peace.
Her purpose.
Her identity.
Her voice.
How she wishes she could go back.
How she wishes she had rebuked the enemy from the very beginning.
But that devil—he’s a sneaky one.
He didn't wait until she was whole.
He came the moment God removed the blockage.
He came before her healing had a chance to begin.

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”
—Ephesians 6:11

You see,
There was this girl.
And every time she was on the verge of healing,
The enemy came for her--
Because he saw what was in her.
 
But the story doesn't end there.
Because you see, there is also this God.
The One who never let go.
The One who whispered, “Get up, daughter.”
The One who reached down when she had nothing left to give.
"He delivered me because He delights in me." (2 Samuel 22:20)
 
And that girl?
She’s writing again.
She’s praying again.
She’s remembering the covenant.
She’s looking back at the rotten peach the devil offered her—and she’s spitting it out.
Because now she sees what was always in front of her.
The fruit of God: sweet, ripe, healing, holy.
The promises of her Father: unshakable.
She is no longer weak.
She is no longer that girl.
She is becoming a woman of God—one who wars for her soul and the souls of others.
She is me.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”
—Psalm 34:8
​
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You for the valleys.
Thank You for the wilderness.
Because it is there You taught me to recognize the difference between Your fruit and the enemy’s poison.
And this time, I will not ignore the voice.
I now choose what is ripe, not rotten.
I choose what brings life, not death.
I choose You, O Lord.
Have Your way in me.
And have Your way with every person who reads these words.
May they not have to walk through pain to discover purpose.
But if they do--
May they find You there, waiting with healing in Your hands.
In Jesus’ mighty name,
Amen. 💜👑

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